It sure seems as if God is trying to teach me patience because an awful lot of situations lately have been filled with forced indecision. And we’ve been feeling a lot like the mouse surrounded by mousetraps. One wrong move and WHAM!
Are you very good at waiting? I’m not.
Don’t get me wrong – life is been good; we have no reason to complain. And at the end of each day we can look back and say, ‘Today was a good day.’
Our personality – Peg’s and Mine – is always to move forward. Our steps can sometimes be small indeed, but we are always trying to progress. And the most maddening thing in the world is not being able to move, to progress, to make a decision (due to circumstances beyond our control). And it is just there — unable to move because other people were inhibiting our choice — that we have been for a while now.
All of which has gotten me to realize the truth of that anonymous quotation:
Worry is a sustained form of fear caused by indecision.
Boy can I say AMEN to that. I never thought much about it, but I can definitely say that specially at times when I was younger much of my fears resulted from an inability to make a decision, a choice. I can see it even in some more recent instances — often revolving around routing. I want to go a certain way, but perhaps there isn’t enough time to make that route, or there is some costly reason not to go, or … well, you get the idea.
Tick, tock, tick, tock…
I know that I still have my worries. This last couple days of sitting around helplessly make that point forcibly. I don’t think I’ll ever get past the anxiety of putting our coach in the shop. That just seems like something you should worry about a little. If you don’t know what’s happening I don’t see anything wrong with a little anxiety. To deny anxiety would seem to me to be both dishonest and inhuman. I know no one who can control their anxiety.
Lately – meaning since we went mobile – we haven’t been facing a lot of personal problems. Our challenges have largely revolved around others. We understand our financial situation. Our health is moderately good. Our family are generally doing well. So other than deciding when to move the RV, and where to move the RV our own life is relatively stable. There was that time a few months ago when we were wondering whether we should trade up in to our current coach — but that’s already a 1/3 of a year away.
We were having our angst about volunteers. To be sure; once again issues over which we had no control. We were having our angst about what to do on the Forest — and again they were issues we had no control over. Those sort of things don’t keep you from worry. And perhaps our ability to feel worry and concern over others remains a test of one’s humanity. For, why should you ever lose one moment’s sleep over someone else’s situation? Why should you waste one moment’s peace of mind because a camper might be drinking contaminated water from a well that isn’t yours? But then we all do it, don’t we… We worry about our friends, even when we can’t improve their situation. We worry about things that ought not be — even though every popular influence around us says there are no such things as absolutes and just go with the flow. Of course there ARE absolutes and I’ve never been very good about flowing…..
There are those who say that ‘patience’ is a manifestation of indecision. I disagree. Indecision can have its purposes. We aren’t always ready to MAKE a decision. The idea that if you can’t say ‘yes’ then the answer is ‘no’ is flawed. There is no nobility or merit in making a decision before you have adequate information.
On Monday, the day we anticipate leaving Junction City we will have been off the Forest and in the Eugene area for a full three weeks. That’s more than twice the time we planned but this came up and that came up and so it is that we’re still here. That’s OK. It really is. We are retired. We don’t have to be places on arbitrary dates unless we choose to be.
The solar install was to take 2 1/2 days, and we wanted about a week to unwind from the routine of the Forest before hitting the road home. The decision to install the fuse bypass in the CR-V added another 1/2 week. I suppose that if I had the right tools — or wanted to buy them and carry them around in the RV I could have done the job myself. A little bit cheaper. But, big deal.
Waiting around for technicians and parts; for them to fix what really was a fortuitous refrigerator failure isn’t all that bad either. Heck, we’ve been camping on their nickel while we wait. No site rental. We’ve been safe from harm. We have good service people here who actually care about us (I’m sure someone wants to sell us another RV some day). And the horrors of getting service work done on the road when you have no control over where the work is being done is an undeniably greater worry than sitting here wondering when we’ll be finished. We know these people have the skills to fix our problem — all we are doing is waiting. Waiting. WAITING.
I’ve never been very good about waiting. Can you tell?
I’m sure someone is just itching to ask whether we are sorry we traded RV’s. Absolutely not. RV’s, like houses, need maintenance. On our list of 5 issues to be investigated it turned out that 2 were instances of my ignorance, one was the desire to add a new functionality we never had before, and 2 were actual repair problems. All for a coach that is 10 years old. And our extended service covered the expense (above our deductible). And we got to do it in a pleasant place, during warm (hot) weather so that we weren’t freezing, and our A/C was working.
Thanks for stopping by. I’ll talk with you tomorrow.
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