I am sure I am not alone in this, but I find myself all worn out. Without doubt, part of it relates to COVID — the idea of being personally restricted in one’s actions for well over 120 days — a third of a year — is not all that different from the physical degeneration one suffers from an illness or an accident. Just as patients with broken bones need therapy to regain mobility and strength after being laid up while healing — so a lot of us are losing muscle mass and mental acuity by being side-lined by life.
Our situation is comparatively mild. Neither of us is suffering illness in combination with the COVID seclusion, but we are in our 70’s and no part of life is quite as easy as it was even 10 years ago. Not being the sort to ever read self-help books I don’t really know how many people are out there talking about the details of aging. I bring the subject up in passing but “aging” is certainly not the primary thrust of this blog. Still and all I find myself thinking more about the changes in the act of living than I have before.
I have no reason to think I’m suffering from Alzheimer’s or any such clinical condition but that does not mean that I don’t notice changes like forgetfulness and the inability to “find” the words I want in my brain. It’s annoying. Nothing more. But it’s there, not nagging on my subconscious but not ever completely disappearing.
There’s naught you can do about the words you can’t remember, but there are things you can do about physical decline. Along with COVID, like most of us, we aren’t as physically active as we have been in the past.
Take the simple act of grocery shopping for example. I have only been in a grocery store 4 times since March. Our local grocery does not charge a surcharge for curbside pickups so instead of going to the grocery a couple times a week for bits and bobs of needful items, we place a single weekly order online and pick it up the next morning. The order is brought to the car and placed in the trunk by an employee and we are there and back in a few minutes. We used to enjoy the wander around in the store. Most of what we purchased was in the outer ring — the produce, meat, dairy, frozen sections but we often wandered the aisles just for the fun of it — to see what’s new, or perhaps to be inspired to tryin something we haven’t made in a long while.
In substitution, I find myself climbing stairs. We try to get out and walk a bit, although walking isn’t as easy as once it was. And like a great many of us the seclusion has not been good for my waistline and I feel the results of the in reduced energy and a tougher time getting exercise.
I, for one, am a bit concerned about what I / we are going to do this winter for exercise. Peggy in particular is concerned about slipping on ice. I seem to have a little better balance but I’m not cavalier about being outdoors in bad weather. We used to walk at the mall of a morning. I don’t know if mall walkers are still a thing but I’m not sure I’m brave enough to try that under current conditions.
All of the above I find tedious and tiring. I know I’m one of many millions feeling that way. But I also know that sometimes we need to know that we are among others — hence this blog.
I wish I could say that I found some inspiring pastime to fill my days; or some novel gardening idea, or a new hobby, or some such thing. I’ve not felt very creative and without doubt I’ve watched more TV than ever in my life. Not good. I know. But I haven’t felt like blogging very much. Oh, I still get out the odd post but not of a nature like the stuff I’ve done before. It’s all just too much work with the energy I have.
On the other side of the coin, we are both still healthy (in the COVID sense), both still mostly pain free, and both still kicking. We have a good, close relationship, we laugh a lot, we talk a lot, life is good — even if we are stuck on our own more of the time. Our family are all healthy — that is a double plus — we aren’t worried about them. And we have lived to see our first Great Grand Baby — a reality that too many people never get to see. Being retired our “income” such as it is, is more secure than many who have lost jobs. My point being that being tired, does not mean we are depressed. We are simply coping the best we can with circumstances as they are.