After writing yesterday’s lengthy post I was thinking about the limitations of our brain. Most of us don’t handle indecision very well. We tend to like things one way, or another, but we like them settled. Recently I came across a statement that stuck with me.
“Clutter is the physical
manifestation of unmade
decisions fueled by
— Christina Scalise
I have this bad habit of letting mail pile up on the corner of my desk. I can get away with that largely because I have all of our routine bills set to autopay — so there’s rarely a bill that comes in that I don’t have already twigged. That means whatever is arriving in the mail isn’t going to be all that important. I’m embarrassed to admit (but not so much that I’ll change my behavior) that I have gone over a month before opening up some piles of mail. I know it’s a bad habit. But I don’t care enough about what’s likely to be in those envelopes to do anything different — too many of which are bulk mail, reduced postage paid by permit.
Still, that pile of mail on the corner of my desk cries out in accusation: “unmade decisions. Unmade Decisions. UNMADE DECISIONS” And still, I let it sit there day after day. There are more important things to think about than the 15 soliticitations per month for insurance; or the 12 solicitations per month for home improvements — mailed to our apartment which we do not own and can’t make home improvements to even if we wanted. The people sending us all that junk obviously don’t care enough about their own advertising to bother qualifying their advertising parameters! If they don’t care, why should I?
All my life I have been a very deadline conscious person. More times than I can count, if I didn’t have a deadline I made one for myself! I do well with deadlines. So it’s not that I procrastinate to the point of NOT doing something, it’s more a matter of WHEN I’m going to do it. The thing is, that all the while one puts something off, it stays there in your brain nagging at you. You try to put it away but it raises it’s nagging head and nibbles at your consciousness. You end up thinking / worrying about it even if you aren’t dealing with it.
Which is really the point of today’s thought. Try to worry and be optimistic at the same time. It doesn’t work. Our brains aren’t wired that way.
You don’t have to be actively worrying about something for it to disturb your consciousness. If it’s there it’s going to lay like that pea under the mattress which kept the princess from falling asleep.
Faith is hard enough to sustain in a world of electronic miracles and skepticism. Oh, we can all exercise “faith” in gravity, and in the sun rising in the morning, but exercising faith in our fellow humans, or in the value of your integrity, or in your need for sleep — those things sometimes get hidden from our attention by the little worrisome doubts and fears taht we don’t bother dealing with beause we can slough them off for the day or the week or the year. One of the reasons I’m willing to be vocal about things I see or feel to be wrong is simply that by vocalizing my concern it enables me to forget about the worry and continue on in faith. I may have to do that 1000 times, but my inner calm returns time and time again.
I guess it’s easier than trying to find a padded room in which I can scream bloody murder! But it works. At least it works for me.
I don’t know what techniques you use to regulate your worries. Some of us are more prone to worry than others. Some of us were taught to worry. Others … not so much. But whether you were taught or not I’m pretty sure you’ll have to admit that there really isn’t room enough for the two to coexist. And how you are perceived by others, and how you perceive yourself will depend a great deal on how you handle your fears.