Once in a while I hit the doldrums and say to myself, “Take a break from blogging for a while.” It’s not that I don’t want to write, it’s that for some reason life is not moving forward, not going back, I’m a sailboat on a calm sea.
You know me, I’m a self-starter. If I don’t have a deadline, I manufacture one — just to keep life interesting. I remember when the tanks need to be dumped and when to fill my pill boxes; I remember when the coach needs maintenance and when our next lab appointments might be. Most of the time I mosey on along through life with ‘stuff’ comfortably filling in the gaps in life.
But once in a while the doldrums hit and I’m dead in the water. I think I’ve arrived. For this summer anyway.
Yesterday I talked with Charles at Bradd & Hall in Elkhart about flooring. The air went out of my sails when I talked-through what we want to do and realized how their system has changed (for good, but not for shorter repair times) in the years since we had our last floor replaced. I can feel my metaphorical sails luffing in the breeze. No wind. No go. Stagnation. It’s still a desirable project but accomplishing it will be a much longer process than we anticipated.
I don’t know how other couples process decisions. We have this way of taking decisions in small steps. We talk about things a little here, and a little there. We let time pass between conversations. We give ourselves time for the subtle complications to come to mind — avoiding making decisions so quickly that we overlook little thought about glitches that result in overruns and delays. We’ve always functioned that way. Sometimes we put a project on hold for a long while — then we pull it back out again and chat — and maybe put it back in our pocket again once or twice before making a decision. If it’s something really good, or really desirable, then moving slowly helps us get the bugs out, and anticipating makes us more appreciative when we finally finish it.
It’s not a fast way to live your life but I think it’s prevented a lot of mistakes and a lot of wasted money. When we were living on 14th street we looked (not every day, or even every month) for a new sofa. It took us the better part of 5 years to find the one we liked. We were at an old-line furniture store that my parents had bought from, and we walked up to the 6th floor, saw this 9 piece rattan sectional and not a word passed between us. We looked at each other and that was it. We had decided with nary a word between us — just a look. Being in harmony, in agreement, and talking about what we really, really want makes decisions look instantaneous, sometimes they look haphazard because we may not have spoken with others about what was in our mind for months or years — because we hadn’t yet sorted out what we really wanted to tell them until we knew ourselves. But it’s who we are.
In the last 24 hours we are finally getting a feel for our October/November movements. Sometimes it seems obvious, but other times it’s like sitting alongside a lazy river you’ve never seen before and trying to tell which direction the water’s flowing. It’s not always very evident. Sure, if there’s a big log floating slowly in front of you, you can say, it’s going to the left. But if there are no telltales — not even a leaf on the surface of the water by which you can judge movement — then you sit there like a clown, waiting for some indicator. We’re still planning on S. Texas for the winter, but the traverse between here and there has been very slow in manifesting itself.
So, we wait and watch. I think we have a plan. Kathryn will be up this weekend, so we’ll chat with her a little too, and maybe she’ll give us another idea that will impact our route. As it is we just got invited to a wedding yesterday — unplanned and unforeseen. Life is wonderful when it’s Unscripted. 🙂
Talk to you tomorrow.