Bed Suspenders and Splatter Shields


What are Bed Suspenders?  -- I mean I know what they do but why?
What are Bed Suspenders? — I mean I know what they do but why?

I’m just a guy…  I like sheets to cover my mattress, I guess I kind of take it for granted that the sheets WILL cover my mattress.  Dear Peggy changes the sheets weekly as she always has, but if they didn’t I would — I happen to like the feeling of clean sheets and I look forward to it.  But I’m at a bit of a loss about why … suddenly in the 21st Century we need to manufacture suspenders to keep the sheets on our beds.

with a 14" profile it might be tough to get your sheets to cover your mattress.
with a 14″ profile it might be tough to get your sheets to cover your mattress.

I suppose there are some reasons for the arrival of bed suspenders.  The rising bulk of pillow top beds! (not that an RV’er will ever see the likes of a double sided, reversible  pillow top mattress).  With a 14.5″ profile I guess you might need some help.

Well, I’ve manufactured my own version of Bed Suspenders;  an RV’ers example of finding a solution to a new situation!  Now, please excuse me in that what I manufactured has nothing to do with my bed…. that is merely a metaphor for discussion.

2014110410453107 2014110410455308Witness the anti-grease, sofa and sofa-throw splatter shield.   It only took me 7 months and a couple kitchen “oops’es”  to decide that I had to do something to protect my wife from spatters and protect our furniture from the dangers of boiling tomato sauce!tomato sauce  No matter how low you turn your tomato sauce, if it’s simmering there is danger of simmer spatter.

Let me be clear now.  Our Journey already had one of these. For whatever reason the Ambassador did not.  But now it does.

The project wasn’t tough.  $10.00 for a piece of acrylic sheeting.  Not Plexiglass.  I didn’t need anything that armor plated — this was something I could get at the hardware store in a little Southern town.  I thought about perhaps waiting to purchase a thicker piece of material but what I bought will be adequate for our needs.

The sheet of acrylic was 18″ x 24″; not the right size for my need.  But the acrylic is snap-able.  Score the material with a sharp box cutter or one of those ‘special acrylic cutters’ — which really is a box cutter with a funny looking blade — support the material on both sides and then SNAP.  it’s important to prevent the material from flexing as you are trying to snap it.  Being flexible, any deflection from flat can easily result in a break that does not follow your score mark.  That happened to me in one place where I hadn’t been pressing down hard enough,  a small triangle of material remained on the sheet I was cutting down to size — which came off with another careful snap and more support.  No Problem, Mon!  A little once-over with a fingernail file to ease the edges (why get out the sandpaper when the fingernail file was right there on the counter!)  Then a little bead of silicone sealer to hold the new shield in place (and also to prevent food from getting into the crevices) and we were done!

So, there you have it.  Life changes.  All of a sudden I realized that I needed a splatter screen and now I have one!  It’s not quite as tricky as bed suspenders.  I’m sure there are people who NEED those new-fangled bed suspenders.  I don’t.  Our sheets are fully large enough for our 4″ thick Sleep Number mattress.  It’s our kitchen counter that leaves a little to be desired,  but now we have a solution for that too.

ExaggerationWhat shall we invent next (well, cutting a piece of acrylic isn’t exactly ‘invention’ — but I love exaggeration for effect — otherwise known as hyperbole)!  I’m still working on better storage solutions!  The bane of my existence.  Of course you realize that storage isn’t really the bane of my existence.  Sometimes my mind goes off on a tangent in search of something to talk about and a little exaggeration softens the task.  And that’s who I am. hyperbole  Don’t take anything too seriously, life’s too short not to laugh at ourselves a little.  Or maybe a LOT!

Thanks for stopping by, and I’ll talk with you tomorrow.

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